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Helping You Help Them: What to Do if an Elderly Parent Refuses Help

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Originally Posted On: https://hosbeg.com/helping-you-help-them-what-to-do-if-an-elderly-parent-refuses-help/

 

Unfortunately, as we age it’s common for an elderly parent to refuse help. Maybe they don’t want anyone in their business or maybe they don’t like you trying to take over their life.

Maybe your mom is getting forgetful and thinks she has everything under control (she doesn’t) or maybe your dad never wants to leave the house (he needs to).

But you know the situation is only getting worse and it’s time for them to accept some help.

It can be frustrating, especially when your elderly parent refuses help. But don’t give up on your elderly parents. Here are some tips that just might work:

1. Don’t Talk About It on the Spot.

Talking to parents about assisted living can be difficult. When you catch your parent in a good mood, let them know you have something important to discuss with them. Ask if they have some time to sit down later. This is the best time to talk about Senior Independent Living.

Don’t try to talk about assisted living while your parent is rushing out the door or when they’re already frustrated with something else going on in their life.

2. Wait Until They Ask For Help.

Don’t jump the gun and offer to pay their bills or do their laundry or drive them around town if they haven’t expressed any interest in getting help yet. Being pushy will only cause your parent to resent you even more than they already do, which isn’t good for anyone.

3. Don’t Offer Help That Will Cause Them to Lose Face.

Let’s say your elderly mother is in charge of taking care of the family dog, but she keeps forgetting to let him out in the morning so he poops all over the house. Instead of saying “You need to let Max outside every morning,” try something like, “Would you like me to come over in the morning to let Max out before work?”

Your mom can save face by accepting help that doesn’t make it seem she can’t do things on her own.

4. Don’t Nag Them About Their Problems.

No one likes being called out for not handling their responsibilities. Instead of saying, “You know you need help remembering to take your meds,” try something like, “Would you like me to set an alarm on my phone or ask one of your friends to remind you?”

Tell them the extra help is there if they want it.

5. Offer Options Instead of Forcing Them Into a New Routine.

If your elderly father constantly complains about feeling depressed or anxious, suggest he see a therapist or counselor. You could offer to pay for the therapy sessions.

Alternately, you can say something like, “Would you like me to take you to your doctor’s appointments?” The important thing is not to pressure them into anything.

What to Do When Elderly Parent Refuses Help

We hope you have enjoyed this post about how to help an elderly parent who refuses help. We understand how frustrating it can be when you don’t know what to do when your elderly parent refuses help.

If you have any questions, please check out our blog. We have many articles specifically written to help elderly parents.

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